Friday, September 18, 2015

So much to say, so little time

Hey there,

Since I have had B I find myself with no time but lots of time all at the same time! Does that even make sense? No probably not. I think a new parent will get it though. What I mean is having a baby, as we all know, takes up the bulk  of your time however, I still have time when she is sleeping, playing on her own or when someone watches her for a bit. In those moments I have such a long list of things I want to do that I just don't fit them in all at once. I have learned that during the day B doesn't sleep for very long so I don't attempt to do tasks that I like to take my time on, such as my blog. Instead, during nap time, I eat, shower, call the hubby and chat, organize the house a bit, cook or just watch a bit of TV. There are times I nap with her too but I am one of those people who can not nap. I wake up feeling more tired than when I went to sleep and usually have a headache. I sleep, not nap. At night when I put her down is when I have longer periods of time to do the things I like to spend time on. Mostly, that is spending time with Indiana. He usually gets home around 7:30, we eat dinner, shower, watch some TV and then usually hit the hay. On days he gets home a bit earlier we game for a bit after we eat. Some days B really puts me through the ringer so I take a nice long bath when she goes to bed. My blog is always on my mind but the idea of not taking time to spend with hubby or soak my tired bones in warm, lavender scented water makes me think twice. But, it is the weekend, B is asleep, I have gamed a bit with hubby and then my fingers started to get that familiar itch to write.

You want to know what one of my most important piece of advice is to new parents? Don't let your baby nap in your arms and get used to it. Yes it feels so good. Yes your baby looks so peaceful when they sleep and yes you could just stare into that beautiful sleeping face all day. However, if you do that, you end up exhausted, malnourished, poorly groomed, and in general a hot mess. From the get go when little one sleeps put him/her down. Trust me this is good for the long run. In the beginning it is great because they sleep longer stretches so you have plenty of time to grab a shower and get some food in your belly. As the months roll on, the day time naps get shorter and the nigh time sleep gets longer. Use that to your advantage. By then you are a pro at whipping up fast meals and showering like the flash so the day time naps get easier. Then, like I said, at night you have more time for yourself and relationship. If you start off always holding baby while they sleep, they will get used to it. Then, all the sudden, when you put them down because you need to pee or grab a bite they wake up and cry and you find yourself imprisoned while your sweet baby sleeps. Even if you want to stare at that beautiful creation do so when they are laying down out of your arms! TRUST ME!!!!!! B is 6 and a half months old now and so many friends of mine can not believe she goes to bed in her crib every night just fine and will nap anywhere during the day. It is because we didn't hold her 24/7. Here is another tip for better sleep. MAKE NOISE!! You will be shocked to discover what newborns can sleep through. We vacuumed around her while she napped. During the day she always napped in the living room with the TV on, guests over, at the mall in her stroller, in the car with music on, and so on.  What we didn't do was tip toe around my house because the baby is sleeping. We didn't chain ourselves to nap time regimes such as strict timings, always in their crib, white noise on and all that jazz. We have a bed time regime but not a nap time one. Even our bed time schedule is flexible because LIFE IS FLEXIBLE! In general I feed B some solids around 5, bath at 6, feeding between 6-7 and bed by 7-7:30. However there have been days she has had a big day and didn't nap much and was pretty much falling asleep by 5 or days she napped late and only goes to bed closer to 8. There have been times we have gone to parties and brought her with the bassinet and put her to bed in a quiet room. Don't make having a baby be the end of your life. That is just a bad way to approach this new adventure. Instead let having a baby be a whole new journey. Let it be the continuation of your life, not the start of a whole new one. You had a child, you didn't die. Becoming a parent doesn't mean you give up on yourself or your relationship.

So put your baby down when he/she falls asleep, go get yourself a hot cup of coffee, sit down, and read a book.

This felt good. :)

Night Night

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

New Alienware and Bad Service at Sharaf DG

Hey everyone!

So a while ago I decided that for Indiana's birthday I wanted to get him a new gaming laptop. This turned into a lot of research on a topic I didn't really understand. I know what RAM is and a CPU and all of that but I quickly learned there is much more than that when it comes to choosing a gaming laptop or PC. Eventually, I told Indiana and that I would rather him choose the one he wanted because those things are not cheap. Last thing I wanted to do was waste a hell of a lot of money on something he didn't want. That turned into even more days of research. Then we decided that I would also get one so we could game together. In the end we were going to order me a 13" Alienware laptop and Indiana a 17" Origins laptop.

Then we went to the mall. Sharaf DG to be exact. That is when I saw the Alienware PC. It was this small, sleek, sexy looking PC. We checked out the specs and it was pretty much the same as the laptop I was going to order with more internal memory; 2 terabytes. I was sold. I officially have my first gaming PC! When we got home Indiana helped set it up and I started downloading Call of Duty Ghosts which is one of my favorite games. I finished that game in about 4 days! The graphics is amazing. Indiana started to eye my PC as well hehe. We were in the process of placing the order for his Origins gaming laptop when we got to the check out part of the whole ordeal. The payment method was via wire transfer or check. Not the best of options for us living over here. When we asked if we could pay with our American credit card they said that is fine but they want the shipping and billing address to be the same. Um yeah that also doesn't work. We live in Bahrain but I can't make my billing address somewhere in the Middle East with my American credit card. So alas, we canceled the order. Then we were going to order an Alienware for him. But he kept on eyeing my super sexy PC. Over the weekend we went and got him one. Now we are both the proud owners of gaming PCs!

Our experience buying his PC at Sharaf DG though was less than desirable. Maybe I just have too high of standards when it comes to customer service. We are in the store and asking for information regarding both the PC and laptops by Alienware. In the end after all the inquiries we tell the guy we will take the PC. Great! Now they come and tell us they are out of stock and that is the last piece. Problem number 1: Put a piece of paper saying it is the last piece so you don't screw with customers wanting to buy it or take it off the damn showroom floor! Sell what you have! We then ask when they will get new ones. He calls that manager and the answer is never. Ok so clearly here we don't like to reorder stock that sells right? We then say ok what will our discount be if we buy the display model. Remember we are talking about an expensive gaming PC here. He proceeds to tell me no we can't give a discount. We said no that is unacceptable, the PC has been running you can't expect us to pay full price. He couldn't even answer my husband when he asked how long the PC has been on. He proceeds to call the manager who agrees to give us a whole BD 10 off! WOW what an idiot. That's just plain rude. I then ask to speak to the manager. I am told I can not because there is no store manager present because it is Friday. Excuse me? No store manager at a major electronics store on the busy day of the week? Are you serious? What in the world is wrong with this place? In the end we took the  PC because it is the one Indiana really wanted but I am really not happy with the service. They didn't even offer us an extra warranty or anything. I swear customer service in the Middle East is just plain shit. If we were somewhere else we would have gotten either a real discount or extended warranty. Oh and he also proceeded to tell us the reason we couldn't get more of a discount is due to the fact that there is barely any margin on the price of the laptop. HAHAHAHAHAHA and that is my problem as the customer why? This whole situation would have been avoided if they simply put a piece of paper on the PC stating it was the last piece.

Here is another hilarious moment that made absolutely no sense. The laptop on display was a 3rd generation old model for around BD 1,400+/-. Under the counter they had the new 4th generation model for about BD 1,280+/-. This is the same laptop just older model and newer model. When we asked why the older one is more expensive the salesperson could not answer us. It made no sense. What it did show me however is that the store is most likely trying to clear old stock before they put new stock on the shelves and rip off customers while they are at it. Let me lay this out in another scenario:

"The year is 2015 and you walk into Land Rover and wish to purchase a beautiful Range Rover Sport. You fall in love with a beautiful model on the floor. You get in and love the feel, the look, the smell, pretty much you love everything about it. It is, let's say, 40 grand! You then find out this beauty is a 2014 model. You ask the sales agent if they have the newest model. Same car just the new one. Yes they do! You want it but are busy wondering if you can afford to pay over 40 grand because of course the newer model is more expensive right? That is the way the world works right? An older model of anything depreciates right? Especially when the newer model is out, RIGHT???? No you find out the newer model is 35 grand! HAPPY DAYS!!!!!!!! "

THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN! So why did it happen at Sharaf DG? I am still a little stumped on that especially seeing as online the newer model is more expensive than the older model. HMMMMMM.

I really don't know why I still get surprised anymore. I want to make a note and say though the salesman was very nice and tried his best to help us as much as he could.

Regardless, we are happy with both PCs. Alienware is awesome. Our PCs are the X51 which is a great smaller PC in size. That is what sold me on it. I have always hated the big tower under the table that collects dust and you are forever hitting your shins on. Plus, when bambino starts to crawl there is no pic tower under the table that she can pull all the wires out of! It is brilliant.

How hot is that????????

So needless to say, we have been gaming like crazy every night after we put B down for bed, eat and shower. HAHAHA the couple that games together, stays together!!

So what are your favorite games?

Adios Amigos!

Monday, May 11, 2015

Post Baby Body

Hey there!

So today's topic is one that I find women don't really talk about; Post baby body! Yes we all know there is "baby weight" and that some women lose it and other don't. But what is "baby weight" really? Now that I have it I feel I may be able to shed some real honest light on this matter.

When I was pregnant I was very lucky and didn't really gain any weight other than my baby bump. I wasn't just lucky though to be honest. I DID NOT EAT FOR TWO! That is a big fat lie and a stupid excuse for women to let go and eat crap and blame it on pregnancy. Why use something like making another human life and excuse to excessively eat? These are things people don't say out loud because pregnant women are "sensitive" and "hormonal." Again that is a silly excuse. We as women are still human and capable of getting our selves in check.

Without going into all of that, I am going to talk about the post baby body. So I currently weigh 60 KGs. Oh my gosh yes I broke the cardinal rule and revealed my weight. I am also 5 foot 1 inch. So I don't like weighing 60 KGs. The strange thing is this "baby weight." I am telling you it is not fat. It is lose skin that feels like jello. See when I had fat on my body previously I simply couldn't fit in certain clothes and sizes because the fat wouldn't let me.  However, this lose skin is different. I can fit in all my old clothes because this skin can just be moved and squished.

Now lets discuss that brown line that goes down your belly. Eww! Even if my tummy wasn't all flabby, I would not put on a bikini with that line. Other mommies told me that goes away after about 6 months!!! Why does no one tell you this??????

Stretch marks. I have this little circular patch of tiger stripes on one side of my tummy. I am convinced I have them because people always saw my belly and said I can't believe you don't have stretch marks!!! And BAM!!!! Last week of pregnancy I get this weird patch of stretch marks.

If you have a baby naturally you are just not ok in the downstairs region especially if you had to get an episiotomy. Basically for the first few weeks you are convinced you will never ever have sex again! HAHAHA TMI but I wish people had told me these things.

Breasts. Oh the breasts. I didn't have problems producing milk. In fact I made so much of it my own baby couldn't keep up with the supply. I knew I would leak from time to time but what people didn't tell me is that I would wake up drenched in milk having to change my shirt in the middle of the night. Here is a tip I would have liked before hand: bring multiple rags to bed with you for the first couple weeks if you have the abundance of milk issue. Hold a rag over your other breast that you are not feeding with during midnight feedings. Your boobs are different sizes at different times of the day due to your milk supply. Get used to that. Accept the stretch marks on yours boobs. They bothered me the most.

Basically post baby body is very overwhelming. Your emotions are so out of check as well. I will not discuss post natal depression because I did not get it and therefore have no right to post my opinion on that. What I will say is that you have good days and then you have very bad days. You are so happy most of the time but some days you are just sad and it is not depression, it is not your baby, it is not something specific you have done, you are just sad. I am posting this to tell you that that is ok and totally normal. No one told me I would be a mess of emotions and feel guilty for it as well. You feel guilty because you have always had this misconception that you have to be that picture happy mother post baby because motherhood is the most beautiful thing in the world and that is it.

I call bullshit. I am so happy. I love my life. I love my husband. I love and adore my baby. I love myself. I still have bad/sad days though. It is just part of the game. Being a mother is flippin hard work. You don't get a full nights sleep. Finding time to do something as simple as a shower becomes a task you actually have to plan. Same thing goes for eating. Some days your baby is an angel and you are overjoyed. Some days your child is fussy and cries and you end up crying because you truly believe you are doing something wrong. You aren't. In fact just for feeling that way tells me you are doing it right because you care! You smell funky all the time! It is this strange odor that is a mixture of baby spit up and horrible armpit sweat plus whatever else you have most probably spilled all over yourself.

I absolutely love being a mom. I take great pride in it. I look at B and think I really am the luckiest woman alive. I wouldn't change my life for all the riches in the world. I also am realistic and honest and want to shed light on some of the not so delightful parts of this experience because well....I wish someone had told me these things!

Hope this makes at least one mommy breath a breath of fresh air.

Now time for dinner, B went down for a nap.

Adios muchachos!


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Saudi Bound

Hey everyone,

So we are currently on our first trip out of Bahrain. We are in Saudi! Haha ok no this is not a holiday. We are here renewing my multi entry visa and getting B's residency so we can then get her Bahraini residency. All these processes here in the Middle East kill me. Just when you think you know the process, you don't. Why? Because I am not sure they even fully know the processes lol. Every time I go to the ministries they seem to change the paperwork they want. Oh well, that is the price us expats have to pay to live here I guess. Still annoying.

We got B's passport last week and then Indiana's company started working on getting her a Saudi visa. We got the visa on Monday morning. We went home packed up our whole house and headed towards the causeway, Saudi bound.

Side note: Once you have a child you literally have to pack your entire house!!!!! Big cars like Indiana's Pajero are very necessary.

So we get to the border and are busy going through Bahraini customs when they tell us no B can't exit Bahrain because she isn't in the system and we must first go to immigration's head office and open her a file. Seriously? So we go there and try to do it but of course we get turned away and told to come back in the morning when the one man who opens files is there. I wanted to call their bullshit but I also know that will get me nowhere. Here we have found that if you play stupid, helpless expat you get stuff done a lot faster. So we went back in the morning and luckily got it all done and headed to Saudi and actually made it that time. Currently we are staying on a compound Indiana's company rents houses in. It is really nice actually. There is a pool, bistro and a grocery store. That is what I have found so far. B and I went for a nice walk today. The weather here is actually amazing right now.

We got B's medical last night which usually takes three days to process but we might be able to get it tonight. If we do, they told us they can get her residency sorted out by tomorrow afternoon and we can go home before the weekend. If not, we will be here for the weekend. I don't really mind seeing as I enjoy exploring. Luckily our villa has everything we need if we do have to stay over the weekend.

So let's see!!! One of these days I will try and map out all these residency processes and lay it out on here for people to be able to read and prepare themselves. In the end though, it comes down to the person you see on the day and his/her current mood.

Cheers for now!


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Good Nutrition for this New Mom!

Hey all,

So I have always stated that I rather live a more healthy lifestyle and am always trying learn new things that will benefit the quality of life we live. 

My mom visited us a couple weeks ago when I have birth to our angel. She shared a bunch of tips and tricks on how to live healthier and shared some things I did not know previously. She suffers from a bad thyroid problem that wasn't diagnosed immediately. She gained a lot of weight and lacked energy in general. Naturally she thought it was aging and just continued living and working. We are from the South so our food is very carb filled and lots of other yummy not so healthy things. About two years ago she found out about her thyroid problem and was put on medication for it and a suggested diet but still found herself tired all the time. When she moved to the states she went to a wellness center that has helped her with how she should be eating not only for her thyroid problem but for a better quality of life in general. Without getting into and intense diet plan, I am just going to share some of the things she showed me and include two yummy recipes. 

First off let's talk oil. My mother has now banned us from using cooking oils like corn, sunflower and even olive oil. What she said to use instead is either coconut oil or animal fat. What she does is save all of her bacon grease from her breakfast every morning. This is a natural and much healthier use of oils. Olive oil is good for you but not when it is heated. Please note, it does not become bad for you when cooked with it just simply looses all of its nutritional value. So if you do not have coconut oil or animal fat, olive oil is your best bet but stay away from the other oils. I have officially collected a jar of bacon grease that I now use. The great thing is you don't have to use near as much bacon grease as you do cooking oils. Same goes for coconut oil. 

My mom also showed us a great way to make quinoa. Quinoa is a grain crop grown mainly for it's edible seeds. It is considered a pseudocereal rather than a true cereal and is not a member of the true grass family. It is actually closer beetroots, spinach and tumbleweed. What you need to know for nutritional value is that it is high in protein and gluten free. Basically a wonderful substitute for things like rice dishes.  It is also cooked just like rice. One cup of quinoa to two cups of rice. Put it in a pot on high heat till it boils and then bring it down to a simmer for about 20 minutes or until it has boiled down. We used to make it just like that and substitute it for rice however done that way it is rather tasteless and boring. This is where my moms awesome recipe comes in handy. 

This is what quinoa looks like. There is also red and black quinoa. 

Quinoa Salad: (that is what I am calling it)


1 cup quinoa
three pieces of bacon (take out if you want it vegetarian)
handful of pine nuts
handful of pealed sunflower seeds (optional)
1 medium carrot (pealed and shredded) 
1 medium cucumber (thinly sliced)
Goat feta cheese (to taste, I put about a handful)
chopped spring onions (handful)
a little bit of lemon juice 


1. Cook quinoa using the method I wrote above. Fry bacon until crispy and set aside to cool down.

2. Combine everything into a big bowl and mix well. Crush cooled down bacon into the bowl to make bacon bits and mix in. 

That's it! Literally takes about 20 minutes to make and will last about 3 to 4 days in the fridge. For Indiana and I, this will last about 2 days anyways. So I make it about twice a week and eat it for lunch, with dinner and pack some for Indiana's lunch as well. This recipe is just amazing. 

The next recipe requires a crock pot (slow cooker) for the way I make it. 

Homemade Chili


1 tablespoon bacon grease (my new cooking oil of choice hehe)
2 pounds (1 prepacked) ground beef
2 medium onions, medium dice 
1 medium red bell pepper, medium dice
6 garlic cloves, finely chopped (I used one seeing as Indiana has a garlic intolerance)
1/4 cup chili powder (If you do not like spicy stuff I strongly recommend cutting this in half or even less)
1 tablespoon ground cumin 
1 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
1 (28 ounce) can diced tomatoes 
1 (14 ounce) can tomato sauce  
2 (15 ounce) cans kidney beans, drained and rinsed (I used dry kidney beans because I didn't have canned. I also soaked them first)
1/4 cup coarsely chopped pickled jalapenos 
Sour cream to taste


1. Heat up bacon grease and saute bell peppers,  and onions. About 8 minutes.
2. Add garlic, chili powder and cumin powder for about a minute. 

3. Add minced beef and break into small pieces. Cook till mince is no longer pink. 

4. Add into slow cooker with canned tomatoes (with juices), tomato sauce, salt and kidney beans. 

5. Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours. 

6. Serve with sour cream and jalapenos.

This makes more than we can eat in one night. So I froze some for another night. 

Hope you enjoy these recipes if you try them but seriously cut out the bad oils you cook with. 

Bye bye for now


Monday, March 23, 2015

It's Official! I am a MOMMY!!!!!!

Hey everyone!

Sorry to have disappeared but the last couple weeks of pregnancy were hectic and the last thing I wanted to do was sit for long periods of time in front of a computer. I am a small girl and my tummy was huge! Sitting was not my favorite thing.

I had our bundle of joy on March 5th at 5:03 in the morning. I had been in labor for about 29-30 hours from when I first started my contractions at home. I was in labor in the hospital for 26 hours. Let's just say that was the experience of a lifetime. Everything I read said to look to the women in your family and how their labors went and yours shouldn't be much different. Well in my case, that was a big fat lie! All the women in my family had short labors! Labors that progressed very quickly after they started feeling contractions. NOT ME! In fact my labor couldn't have been more opposite if I had tried!

We went to the doctor 3 days after I was due and I showed no signs of delivery. That was on the Tuesday. My doctor told me that I should come in on Friday and she would induce me in the morning and I would have my baby on Friday. Well, my baby had different plans. Plans for that same night in fact,
I started to feel contractions (which I didn't know were contractions) at around midnight after Indiana and I had gone to bed. It was a pain that I can only describe as a very horrible period pain. I was able to tolerate it though so I didn't assume I was in labor. So I went back to bed. I woke up again at 1 and then 2 with the same pain. I tried to go to the bathroom, nothing. The only thing that felt good was to stand and just rock back and forth. By that time Indiana said if it happens one more time we are going to the hospital. 3 am, it happened again. We were in the car with our hospital bag in 5 minutes and on our way to the hospital. The whole time I kept thinking no, I am not in labor. This isn't painful enough, I can still handle this. Don't get me wrong, I was in pain for sure but I think as a first time mom you kind of always expect it to hurt even more. We got to the hospital by 3:30. They put us in a room that had a stretcher and a metal stool. They said the doctor would be with us shortly and in the meantime they hooked me up to the machine that measures the contractions and the baby's stress levels. That damn machine became my most hated part of labor. I officially hate that machine. It is so uncomfortable especially when for 26 hours they strapped me up to it the majority of the damn time! that pressure on my tummy was unbearable by the end of the labor. Imagine your tightest pair of elastic pants around your stomach for 26 hours...and now add that to labor. It was the small things that got to me the most. Anyways, with my luck there were two emergency deliveries happening at the very moment we arrived. So we waited for a good 15 to 20 minutes before the doctor came in checked my chart and then checked me and said I was dilated 1 cm. I was officially in labor! She then said she wanted to keep me on the machine just a little longer and then she will come back and check on me. Meanwhile, Indiana and I are exhausted, in this brightly lit cold ass room on a stretcher and a metal stool. Then a nurse comes in and checks me and says that I will probably go to my room shortly. About another 20 minutes later a different nurse comes in and says oh you are only 1cm dilated. We will probably send you home until labor progresses more. At this point I didn't care I just wanted answers we were both tired and very uncomfortable. Finally, I told Indiana I couldn't lay on that damn stretcher connected to the machine anymore. He went and got a nurse who spoke to the doctor and then we were escorted in our room. We slept for about 3-4 hours before they came back in and put me on the machine again. Then the doctor came in and low and behold, I was still 1 cm dilated. My contractions were irregular as well. She said she would come back and check one more time and if I had not dilated by 4 pm she would give me the first pill to induce me. By 4, I was still 1 freakin cm dilated. They told me they would wait another 6 hours and if I still haven't progressed they would give another one. By around 10 pm the doctor came back in and I had only dilated to 2 cm. She then asked the question, do you want an epidural. I didn't but I was so damn tired and the contractions hurt so bad and I was getting so discouraged being only 2 cm dilated.

So after a good cry, I said I would take the epidural. They brought me into the delivery room. I was so damn scared of the idea of a needle going in my spine that I dug so deep within me I reached a place I of complete concentration I don't think I have ever been to before, My game face was on. They had me sit up and started preparing the needle. I picked a sport on the wall to stare at and didn't look away from that till it was over. Then a short while after....relief. Indiana was so tired I sent him to our room to sleep a bit and I tried to do the same. I was now officially hooked up to that horrible machine and they wouldn't take it off. My blood pressure sky rocketed as well, I think I slept on and off for another two hours or so but then I felt a horrible pain on the right side of my pelvis. The nurse told me I shouldn't be feeling that level of pain after the epidural. They called the anesthesiologist back in and he gave me more of the epidural. It lessened but that pain did not go away for the rest of the time. My contractions were still irregular in time but were getting stronger and stronger. Finally the doctor came in checked me and said I could start pushing. Panic ran through my brain because the only thing I could think was "Oh hell no! I am not pushing until my husband is by my side." Then like magic, he walked in that very second. He said he just woke up with a feeling. I love him.

I started pushing. It was not what I expected at all. I thought I would be screaming like warrior. No I remained pretty calm and quiet. I was so tired by then though that I kept falling asleep between pushing. Then they said they could see her head! Indiana went and looked and I will never forget the look of utter excitement in his face. He looked at me and said I can see her love, I can see her. I pushed again and again and then I just started crying and told him that I couldn't do it anymore. I was just too tired. He grabbed my arm and said yes you can, I know you can. Then I pushed one last time and she came out. They put her on my chest and I just burst into tears. Our 9 month journey was officially over. The little girl we had dreamed and fantasized about was finally in my arms. My little girl was really here. After a good cuddle they weighed he. She was 3.69 kgs/ 8 pounds!!! Form my 5'1 frame that is one big baby! They took her to the nursery to get cleaned up. Indiana checked on me and then followed our angel to the nursery to carefully keep watch on her till her bracelet was on.

That was so not over for me. This was the part of labor no one ever told me about. NO ONE!!! My BP was still way up in the clouds. They gave me Oxycontin so I could deliver the placenta, Then because of my BP they would not let me leave the delivery room till they got it down. They were pumping me with one IV after the nest. I was passing out left right and center and waking up when they kept doing things to me. Indiana came and checked on me and every time brought me a bottle of water which I would chug down. I was so dehydrated. I drank 6 bottles of water in two hours. That was how long I was still in the delivery room after I had given birth. I was also a bleeder. The doctor gave me an episiotomy (she cut me down there to make more space for my baby to go through) and apparently I bled a lot. So they gave me some injection that to help with the bleeding. What this injection also did was make me unable to control passing urine and bowel movements. OH MY GOD! I had no dignity left. They put some tube up me where I was peeing in a bag and I can not believe I am telling the public this but I was pooping myself and I couldn't control it. I am coming out with it because NO ONE ELSE DOES!!!!!!!! I was practically in an adult diaper! They also brought my baby to me for her first feeding. She took straight to it with no issue. It was an amazing experience. Finally I was stitched back up and on my way to my room.

The pain in my vagina was slowly becoming more noticeable as the epidural wore off. OUCH!!!! They brought our precious angel in the room and and we just fell under her spell. So in love with her. On the blog I shall call her B.

 I have written enough for today. Tune in for my experience so far post natal!!!!

I'm going to go feed B now! :)  I am a mommy!!!! :)



Sunday, February 8, 2015

How pregnancy and preparing to be a mom has changed me...

Hello there!

So my husband and I witnessed something last night that really got me thinking. I have been noticing certain changes in me since I have been pregnant and have been reflecting on them from time to time. However, last night I really noticed what I think was my first true maternal instinct decision made even before my child has been born. Don't get me wrong, I have been doing the normal keeping my body and mind healthy for my little girl's health but this was different.

To start this story off, I will explain a certain aspect of my personality when it comes to helping people. I have always had a big heart. When I see someone in need my first instinct has always been to help them as much as I can, immediately without any thought. My husband has told me time and time again that that is how I keep getting hurt, especially in friendships. I am very giving and never expect anything in return. However, slowly I have learned the hard way that I do always end up hurt or treated like a door mat. However, my want to help is always there. I grew up seeing it as well. My mom and sister I lived with in Kuwait growing up always helped people in need whether it was a maid being treated unfairly or a western woman being abused by her Arab husband and seeking refuge. (please note this is not an insult to Arabs. I am very aware the abusive people are every where in the world. I am telling a story from my life experience.) They always helped without second thought. Many people would consider this a very noble trait in people. I agree however, now I agree to an extent. Sometimes, you do need to think before you help. I have learned sometimes you can not help and sometimes you should not help. Sometimes, helping makes the situation worse for either of the parties, including yourself. This is where my story begins.

Last night after dropping off my brother in laws at the airport, my husband and I were driving home. We noticed a car in front of us with its passenger door opened as it was driving down the road. Then we noticed further that the woman in the passenger seat was trying to jump out. The man kept grabbing her and she was hitting him trying to get lose to get out of the car. My heart started racing and my need to help this woman began surging through my bones. The light ahead of all of us was red so luckily we all had to slow down to a stop. She was able to then free herself and exit the vehicle. She was a western woman but from where, I could not tell. The man was an Arab but again I can not be certain from which country. Luckily he continued driving and did not pursue her any further. She was crying and limping but began walking away down the street.

Before I got pregnant, I would have immediately called after her to get into my car so I could take her somewhere safe like a hospital or police station. However, when I rolled down my window, the words wouldn't come out. I looked at this woman and though my heart was breaking for her, another part of me told me she looked a little shady herself. I rolled back up my window. I knew she was safe, the man had drove off and she was walking away in a safe area that was heavily populated.

So why did I do this? My need to protect my family and child came first. I don't know this lady nor do I know that man. I could have put a potentially dangerous person in my car or been pursued by one if I had let her in. It is my responsibility to keep my child safe from harms way and that instinct immediately overrides my need to help every single person in need. I realized then and there that while helping those in need is a noble trait, it also has it's appropriate time and place. This woman is an adult. I do not know how she got into that situation but at some point she did make whatever decision it was she made. I did not make the decision for her. There are places and facilities she can go to get the proper help she needs that I could not provide for her anyways. You need to think before you act. You are no help to anyone if you put yourself in harms way. Lord knows what could have happened if I had called out to her. Nothing could have happened or I could have opened a door that would bring harms way to my family.

I chose my family. I will always choose my family. This little girl has helped me grow in more ways than words can describe. I thank her for that and hope that as I guide her through life, she will also always ensure I continue to grow as a person.

I would like to say if the situation with the man and woman got worse, like if he got out of the car to chase or abuse her, I would have called the police. A nine month pregnant woman can not break up a fight anyhow and my husband would have never allowed that to happen anyways haha. There are things that can still be done to help those in need like calling the authorities who have the right and authority to help that person and punish the other.

Slowly, I am learning what it means to be a mother. It is so much more than just having a child and I am so excited to continue to discover the definition to this amazing life tittle I have now.

She has humbled me and brought me down to earth. Her father has helped me grow into the woman I am today as I have helped him grow into the man he is. Now, we get to see how this little gift from God helps us continue to grow.

What an exciting adventure.

Until next time.