How pregnancy and preparing to be a mom has changed me...

Hello there!

So my husband and I witnessed something last night that really got me thinking. I have been noticing certain changes in me since I have been pregnant and have been reflecting on them from time to time. However, last night I really noticed what I think was my first true maternal instinct decision made even before my child has been born. Don't get me wrong, I have been doing the normal keeping my body and mind healthy for my little girl's health but this was different.

To start this story off, I will explain a certain aspect of my personality when it comes to helping people. I have always had a big heart. When I see someone in need my first instinct has always been to help them as much as I can, immediately without any thought. My husband has told me time and time again that that is how I keep getting hurt, especially in friendships. I am very giving and never expect anything in return. However, slowly I have learned the hard way that I do always end up hurt or treated like a door mat. However, my want to help is always there. I grew up seeing it as well. My mom and sister I lived with in Kuwait growing up always helped people in need whether it was a maid being treated unfairly or a western woman being abused by her Arab husband and seeking refuge. (please note this is not an insult to Arabs. I am very aware the abusive people are every where in the world. I am telling a story from my life experience.) They always helped without second thought. Many people would consider this a very noble trait in people. I agree however, now I agree to an extent. Sometimes, you do need to think before you help. I have learned sometimes you can not help and sometimes you should not help. Sometimes, helping makes the situation worse for either of the parties, including yourself. This is where my story begins.

Last night after dropping off my brother in laws at the airport, my husband and I were driving home. We noticed a car in front of us with its passenger door opened as it was driving down the road. Then we noticed further that the woman in the passenger seat was trying to jump out. The man kept grabbing her and she was hitting him trying to get lose to get out of the car. My heart started racing and my need to help this woman began surging through my bones. The light ahead of all of us was red so luckily we all had to slow down to a stop. She was able to then free herself and exit the vehicle. She was a western woman but from where, I could not tell. The man was an Arab but again I can not be certain from which country. Luckily he continued driving and did not pursue her any further. She was crying and limping but began walking away down the street.

Before I got pregnant, I would have immediately called after her to get into my car so I could take her somewhere safe like a hospital or police station. However, when I rolled down my window, the words wouldn't come out. I looked at this woman and though my heart was breaking for her, another part of me told me she looked a little shady herself. I rolled back up my window. I knew she was safe, the man had drove off and she was walking away in a safe area that was heavily populated.

So why did I do this? My need to protect my family and child came first. I don't know this lady nor do I know that man. I could have put a potentially dangerous person in my car or been pursued by one if I had let her in. It is my responsibility to keep my child safe from harms way and that instinct immediately overrides my need to help every single person in need. I realized then and there that while helping those in need is a noble trait, it also has it's appropriate time and place. This woman is an adult. I do not know how she got into that situation but at some point she did make whatever decision it was she made. I did not make the decision for her. There are places and facilities she can go to get the proper help she needs that I could not provide for her anyways. You need to think before you act. You are no help to anyone if you put yourself in harms way. Lord knows what could have happened if I had called out to her. Nothing could have happened or I could have opened a door that would bring harms way to my family.

I chose my family. I will always choose my family. This little girl has helped me grow in more ways than words can describe. I thank her for that and hope that as I guide her through life, she will also always ensure I continue to grow as a person.

I would like to say if the situation with the man and woman got worse, like if he got out of the car to chase or abuse her, I would have called the police. A nine month pregnant woman can not break up a fight anyhow and my husband would have never allowed that to happen anyways haha. There are things that can still be done to help those in need like calling the authorities who have the right and authority to help that person and punish the other.

Slowly, I am learning what it means to be a mother. It is so much more than just having a child and I am so excited to continue to discover the definition to this amazing life tittle I have now.

She has humbled me and brought me down to earth. Her father has helped me grow into the woman I am today as I have helped him grow into the man he is. Now, we get to see how this little gift from God helps us continue to grow.

What an exciting adventure.

Until next time.
xoxo